I almost feel sad for it, if I didn’t hate it so much. It’s a mirror with out being one. It is hated and despised through out homes across the world. It is something that we don’t want or try not to think about, but we usually use early in the morning after the bathroom; because it’s in the bathroom—and we can’t hide from it. What am I?
If you guessed a weight scale you would be right. It is the most hated of appliances, but its like a bug to a light for us; we just can’t help standing on it hoping for change. Sometimes we do see positive change, we lose weight. Sometimes we see negative change, we gain weight or we stay the same (because–let’s face it–the only positive is when we see those numbers go down). The scale can be a friend, or it can be the enemy. But since it is telling the truth, I will too. The truth is that the scale can only tell the truth as it sees it, the real friend or enemy lies within us. I am either sabotaging myself or I am helping myself to the pathway health.
If you are a late comer or haven’t read my Bio yet, let me tell you this: I am going to have stomach sleeve surgery in the summer. Stomach sleeve surgery is where they take out a portion of my stomach to help achieve weight loss for the individual. Look below at the picture and you will see what I mean. So, I am under a surgeon’s care. Due to insurance, I have to show a willingness to lose weight for three months with a true weight loss and then the surgeon can request the insurance to fund the weight loss surgery. Once the weight loss surgery is given the green light from the insurance; the surgeon will schedule me for the surgery. We are planning for some time in summer, that is what I am hoping.
So, this visit I was so scared to go to. I even postponed it a couple of times because I wanted to make sure I showed a loss. Truth: I had not done what I was supposed to for about a month. So, when the date for this doctor appointment loomed over my head, I really started to focus and do what I needed to do to be on the path to being healthy. Also, putting my heart in this blog helped me a lot too. I knew I needed to be who I said I was trying to be—so I sucked it up and stayed on the straight and narrow. When the time for the appointment came, I got on the scale and I gain 3 lbs. I had gained 3 lbs. in two months. I was actually ok with that, because I was very sure I had lost knowing how bad I had been. The doctor didn’t seem too phased by the small gain and told me to keep going. He also quizzed me on what I had changed to be on the healthy pathway.
So, I told him the changes I had made. First, I have given up soda. I drink unsweet tea (hot or cold), juice (only sometimes), almond milk (I use it to make my morning smoothies), and lots of water. I have been actively cooking at home, where I can create or use healthy recipes that I find. I can control portion control better and I can control ingredients. I have been trying to stay away from processed products and trying to stay as close to paleo or whole thirty diet as I can. I told him that my next endeavor was to eliminate fast food completely. The doctor seemed very happy with the progress I had made, even though it didn’t show up on the scale. So that made me happy.
I know I didn’t get this way in a day. It’s going to take a while for the healthy me to come out of hiding from under all this fat; but I promise you she is there waiting to come out. I know that I am going to have to change habits and coping skills in order to get my inner “skinny” girl to come out. I can only change one habit at a time, and my coping skills—well I am going to a therapist to help me with that. My coping skills run deep, and I know I will need help to change what has been the normal in my own mind to something that will be my new normal. But I promise you this, I will have the dedication to see this through. It may not always come up roses, but I will always come up with something and learn from my mistakes. I hope my journey can inspire some of you.
Let’s keep on keeping on!