You know I have writers block. That’s not necessarily a good thing for a blog writer. My life right now is full of obstacles, so my mind is going a million miles a minute—but to no where in particular. My focus is not exactly where it needs to be, because I can’t really focus on just one thing right now.
Last week my car broke down and we had to be towed and the family was picked up and rescued by my parents. The car has been in the shop since then and will continue to live there till the transmission guy gets back from his holiday.
My son has pink eye in both his eyes. My daughter has ear infections in both her ears. I have been fighting with spring in my usual fashion, with blisters in my eyes.
I found out that my surgery has to go through yet another round with my insurance, that says they will cover it; but to them its not medically necessary for me to have it—so they won’t. My doctor is challenging them because I do have diabetes, psoriatic arthritis, and my knees are not in good shape due to my arthritis and my weight. But sure, it is not medically necessary for me to have this operation.
Putting all my personal obstacles aside, that seem so much smaller to my one family obstacle we are facing. My husband’s aunt, who is like my aunt—I love her so much, she went to MD Anderson for a test and the test came back with that her cancer is growing and her treatments are not working. They are discussing what the next moves are, but it doesn’t look good. This is the aunt that when David and I got married and we moved to Louisiana, she took me in as one of her own. She has three beautiful and wonderful daughters, that I am so proud and happy to call family. Her oldest, Joslyn, sought me out and became my first friend when I had none. I am not good at making the first move, Jos really holds a special place in my heart. Her daughter Andi, she also accepted me, and she brought so much fun and laughter in my life. Her daughter, Erin, I can’t even express the love I have for her. She is full of so much joy, anytime I was missing home she always brought a smile. Their mom, my ‘aunt’ Theresa—brought me into the family. Even told me that if David and I ever got divorced, I would still be in the family. She has the best advice. She has the sweetest disposition. She has nerves of steel. She is not afraid to tell you like it is. She is a servant. She is the Boss. She is an inspiration. I look up to her so much, and I love her so much more. And I hate Cancer.
I can’t help but feel down and useless. I can’t help but want to eat. Good thing is, I have literally nothing in my house I can eat that isn’t healthy. So that’s a plus. I feel weak. My mind is in a haze. All I can do is pray and focus on the words that God has said.
2 Corinthians 12:9 “and he said to me my grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ my rest upon me.”
Romans 8:18, “Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.”
Psalm 73:26, “My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.”
Matthew 11:28, “Then Jesus said, come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
I still feel down. I still feel weak. I still feel like screaming. I still feel like I am living in a mist. And I most certainly still hate Cancer with a passion. But, reading these words from God, I can’t help but to also feel hope and comfort. Obstacles are not fun or easy, and it is definitely not easy to look in on someone fighting for their life against cancer. But I trust in my God. And I will pray to my God. Because He is mine forever. Just as I am His.
Written by Amy Shaw